Your Yes Means Nothing Unless You Can Say No


Life calls us to say Yes to our responsibilities and to what’s most important to us, from self-care to caring for others, from honoring our commitments to fulfilling our life purpose.

In order to be able to say a resounding “Yes!” to all these things that take time and energy, we also must be able to say “No” to plenty of other things that might be appealing or also important but that are likely to distract us from what we have prioritized and committed to. Our Yes’s to others are also more believable and trustworthy when they know that we can say No when we mean to.

So, can you say No?

  • Can you say No to stuff?

  • Can you say No to another person?

  • Can you say No to yourself?

The most effective way to get our priorities done is to first say No to everything that is less necessary and less important. For example, if we want to sleep enough and at the proper time in the night (most basic self-care need), can we say No to screen time and other stimulation 1-2 hours before our intended bed time even if we just want to watch “one more” episode?

The most effective way to have healthy and happy relationships with others is to define and enforce good boundaries. There is no boundary unless we can assertively and respectfully draw the line when it’s been crossed. Every real relationship will eventually get to that place of friction where conflicting values and needs are revealed. When this happens, can we say No to stay true to our own self while still honoring the relationship?

The most effective way to be successful at fulfilling our life purpose is to say No to plenty of stuff that is not part of that greater goal, even if it sounds good in the moment. It’s about choosing long-term satisfaction over short-term gratification most of the time. In order to stay the course that we have mapped for our self, can we say No to extra requests, events and fun ideas even if they might also be interesting?

As we learn to find our No’s, can we make a distinction between “Definitely No”, “Not Now/Not Yet”, and “Let’s Discuss And See If We Can Get To Yes”?

And with that being said, can we say No in a direct and assertive way, but also with respect and grace? Even when the No we say is to our own self?

Being able to say No allows us to say Yes to what truly matters!