During my Integral Coaching training, the founder of the methodology and my teacher during the course, James Flaherty, explained:
"A mistake that a lot of people make is justifying doing something because they like it, and not doing something because they don't like it."
That's how in just a few words, James clarified what keeps people stuck:
Using likes and dislikes as valid tools to decide what to do and how to use our precious time.
When we allow ourselves to do more of what we like doing just because we like doing it, and to resist what we don't like doing just because we don't like doing it, we prioritize immediate gratification over long-term satisfaction. We let our limited self (ego) take over our life by constantly hunting pleasure and in the process, we fail to manifest what we truly want to accomplish in our life in the long-term. We prevent our Higher Self the chance to unfold and to make progress towards our life purpose.
As our ego feels increasingly more powerful, another part of us also feels progressively more powerless.
To get unstuck and out of this cycle of liking/not liking, we must develop our self-awareness and self-discipline. We must learn to commit to our Higher Self and to our life purpose. To do that, we must - as my teacher James said - heal our addiction to liking and become willing to do things we might not like, for the sake of the long-term satisfaction of living a life aligned with what we are truly meant to be doing.
It's about sending our ego take a nap while our Higher Self gets back in the driver seat.
This does not mean that we give up taking delight in all the little pleasures of life. We can infuse our days with pleasure and ideally be fully present while deeply enjoying them. However we must resist our addiction to "doing more of what we like" and stop rationalizing our avoidance of what we don't like, so that we can devote time and extend purposeful energy for what will bring us true joy.
Because joy is so, so, so much better than pleasure.