Do you know what's the most important thing to do on your first date?
It's not obsessing about chemistry.
It's not wondering about whether he wants to get married.
It's not figuring out if she wants to have sex at the end of the night.
It's not knowing how much he earns.
It's not thinking about how your future kids would look like : )
So, do you know what matters most on your first date?
Making the person you're with on your date feel good.
Yes, really, what's the most important thing to do on a first date is making the person you're with feel good.
With authenticity, of course.
Making that new person feel good requires meeting them with a curious mind and an appreciative heart. It means that the primary purpose of your first date is figuring out what makes them tick, finding out what's their best quality, and reflecting back to them verbally and non-verbally what you see in them.
Appreciate that new person, what they contribute to your special date specifically and to the world in general.
And in case you're wondering, it's not about randomly praising them. It's not about pretending that that they are the most incredible person you have ever met. It's not about giving them the impression that you'll be best friends forever. This specific purpose is not to make yourself look nice. It's actually not about you at all.
Making someone feel good authentically is simply appreciating them in the moment, for who they are as you share that special time together.
Approaching your first date this way would make it a much more gratifying experience for the two of you regardless of the outcome, and would give you a greater chance to establish a connection if a future together were in the cards.
It also creates in your heart the foundation of a happy and healthy long-term relationship:
Unconditional and authentic appreciation.