Is Your Relationship On Automatic Pilot?

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Photo by galoff/iStock / Getty Images

If yes, it’s time to go back to manual!

Here are a few signs that your relationship could have inadvertently been put on automatic pilot:

  • Your partner has become more a roommate than a teammate in your day-to-day schedule.
  • You don’t say goodbye/hello to your partner when they leave/return home.
  • You kiss/say “I love you” to your partner out of habit rather than purposefully.
  • You keep looking at your screen or at whatever else you are engaged in when your partner talks to you.
  • Your only focus of attention at home is your children.
  • Beside raising children, you are not engaged in a common project with your partner.
  • You are not actively interested in your partner’s thoughts, opinions, and feelings on a day-to-day basis.
  • You don’t consult your partner before making decisions that could affect them.
  • You express more criticism than appreciation.
  • You take your partner’s presence in your life for granted.

If you recognize any of these behaviors in your relationship, may I suggest you to go back to manually piloting your relationship?

You can disengage the automatic pilot by implementing one, then two, then more of the following ideas:

  • Connect with your partner every day. Ask your partner about how their day has been going and how they are feeling.
  • Make eye contact whenever you talk with your partner.
  • Acknowledge your partner when they leave or come back home.
  • Regularly tell your partner something you appreciate about them.
  • Involve your partner before making scheduling commitments or new decisions.
  • Propose to start something new together and come up with a few ideas to choose from.
  • Say “I love you” when you mean it and show this clearly with your body language.
  • Remember that your relationship is a team project, not a game between two players. Communicate this by using a vocabulary that fosters unity and a sense that you’re in it together.
  • Make sure to put your partner first. A happy and healthy relationship is essential to your children's emotional safety.
  • Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for having your partner in your life.

Invest in your partner. Flourish in love!